I banged hard on the large wooden door, beads of sweat forming on my furrowed brow.

 “Please! Let me out! I’m sorry…I’m sorry!” 

Pressing my face on the aged wood, I listened quietly for a response. There was only the sound of the wind whistling through the corridors. Sighing heavily, I slid slowly to the floor, wrapping my arms tightly around my knees. 

It’s been three weeks now. Surely, she’ll let me out soon. 

A mouse scurried hurriedly across the tattered linoleum floor, its small nose searching greedily for food. I watched as it stopped to sniff my emaciated foot, before scampering into a dark corner. Moments later a loud, “Snap!” echoed its way across the room. Standing up, I walked towards the captured animal, stooping to examine its dismembered body. 

This will have to do Tess.

Closing my eyes, I bit into its soft flesh, gagging at the ooze of warm blood in my mouth. I hadn't eaten in weeks. 

***

“Time to get up lazy girl!” 

Vinnie playfully tousled my matted hair, a concerned glint shimmering in his blue eyes. Weakly, I peered up at him, watching as his gaze shifted from my tattered clothes, to the pile of mouse remains, and back at me again. 

“Oh, sweet Tess. I am so sorry”, he whispered. Tears welling up in his now guilty blue eyes. 

I smiled sadly. “It’s not your fault Vin. It’s just the way things are.”

Vinnie nodded solemnly, setting down a clean pair of clothing, before sitting cross legged beside me. 

“So what was it this time?” he asked, tracing his fingers through the dust at his feet. "And Tess...don’t lie to me this time. I can take it”.  

I smiled weakly, watching as his brow crumpled into a stubborn frown. He was right to worry about me lying. When we were, younger I had lied to protect him; to preserve his childlike innocence; to shield him from her. And in some ways, it had worked. She loved Vinnie much more than she loved me and Vinnie used to love her right back until one day when he finally saw who she really was. 

Now he had become the protector. 

“I went through the garbage again. She wasn’t looking and I was so hungry. I just wanted something to eat. I know I shouldn’t of but…I couldn’t help it”

“Tess,” Vinnie exhaled, “Why didn’t you ask me for help? You know that I would have found a way.”

I nodded. It wouldn’t be the first time that Vinnie had offered to help. Ever since we were kids, he had found a way to feed me when she forgot or just refused to. He would hide scraps of bread and cheese for me in his pockets, strategically gathering them while she wasn’t looking. As time passed she caught on and now it was harder to hide. She began checking Vinnie at every meal. Each time she found food, she would scold him and beat me. Sometimes until I lost consciousness. Those times were the best because I couldn’t feel the pain anymore. I would wake up to find myself in the cellar, behind the wooden door, bleeding on top of the concrete floors. When my punishment was up, she would always send Vinnie to come get me. It was a game she liked to play. She loved to remind me that she loved him more. Every time she sent him, it was a reminder that nothing had changed. 

Everything would still be the same. Everything would always be the same. 

“We’d better go up,” Vinnie announced, brushing the dust off his pants. “I’ll wait outside the door while you get dressed.”

***

After I dressed, we walked up the steps and through the dark corridors of Van Hall Manor. I peered up at the large wooden beams lining the ceiling trying to remember. Vinnie and I had been here for so long that I had almost forgotten another home. I had only faint memories of our Mother. It was these memories that kept me going when times were rough. And they were. Often.

I would close my eyes and think about her. About the way she hummed while combing my hair each day. About the way she smelled of bourbon, Pall Mall's and freshly washed sheets. About the stubborn curls forever peeking out from under her headscarf to say hello. It was these times spent remembering when I felt the safest. If only for a moment...

“We are here.” Vinnie stopped in front of the two large Redwood doors leading to her office. Biting the inside of my lip, I nervously smoothed the wrinkles on my blouse dreading what was about to happen. I placed my hand on the gold doorknob, turning the cool metal in my palm. 

 “Wait. Tess...” Vinnie grabbed my arm, pulling me into a warm hug. “I love you sis. It will all be over soon. I promise. Just be strong.” I nodded confidently, hoping with all my heart that he believed me. Vinnie quietly slid his arms back down to his sides, stepping away from me decidedly. He didn't.

I slipped in between the large doors. Shutting them firmly behind me. 

The doors closed with a resounding boom trapping me inside the room with...her. I watched as she stood with her back turned towards me, gazing intently out the window. She was a tall stately woman with long black hair neatly tucked into a bun at the nape of her neck. Today, she was wearing her favorite outfit. A modest black gown with buttons down the back. 

“Well don’t just stand there. Come here girl!”, she said sharply shattering the silence. 

With bated breath, I slowly walked towards her bracing myself. 

She scowled in my direction, casting a disdainful glance at my worn attire. “Pig", she mumbled.

I watched as she opened the drawer next to her desk, pulling out a worn leather belt. I knew that belt all too well. In the beginning, Carlotta would beat me often, claiming that she had to remind me of where I belonged. She was right. Every time she beat me, I was reminded of where I belonged. Reminded of the home that Vinnie and I once had and of how she took us away from it.

“Have you learned your lesson you stupid, selfish girl, or do I need to beat it into you again?” 

“Please Carlotta" I said panicking, "I promise I will be good. I know it was wrong to eat without permission I won’t do it again. I was just…I…”

“You were just what!” Carlotta screamed.

“Hungry”…I whispered.

“What did you say pig?!” Carlotta raced towards me grabbing my arm tightly. Her sharp nails dug into my flesh as I felt her twist my frail arm. She grabbed the belt. 

Shutting my eyes I went again to the large wooden beams lining the ceiling. It was time to remember. Steadying my breath I transported myself back to the last time I saw Mother. Now, today is a Thursday Birthday in the Park.

***

“Okay Tess…chin up”, Mother said, as she zipped up my faux leather jacket. "Why a ten-year-old needs a faux leather jacket is beyond me", she quipped, firmly planting a kiss on my forehead. I smiled contently as I watched Mother zip up her matching jacket, pick up Vinnie, and balance him on her slender hip.“Ready Vinnie-Bob?” she questioned -gazing at him lovingly. Mother was the only one who ever called him that. 

“"Wedy" Mama!" Vinnie exclaimed, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck. It was his fifth birthday today and Mother had decided to treat him to a special day in the park. 

Mother hurried us off to the car and after a few minutes of battling a squirming Vinnie, she finally clasped his car seat into place. As we drove, she played her favorite song, the voice of Ella Fitzgerald crooning through the radio. I hummed along with the familiar melody, resting my head against the cool glass of the car window. Mother smiled at me, our eyes meeting in the rearview mirror. 

“That’s going to be you someday Tess. Making beautiful music.”

I nodded solemnly, singing a bit louder for Mother to hear. When we arrived, the park was filled with squealing children running back and forth on the playground. I gleefully grabbed Vinnie’s hand, dragging him towards the swing set, placing him haphazardly on the swing beside me. 

“Be careful!” Mother warned, lowering herself onto a nearby bench. Pulling out a worn copy of her manuscript, she began scribbling furiously at the pages with her favorite ink pen. She had been working on it for months. Editing and revising it until the pages were now worn and tattered. 

Stealing one last look at her, I pumped my legs, swinging higher and higher above the tree branches. I closed my eyes as the warm sun kissed my face, indulging in the wind whisking through my curly tresses, the sweat cooling on my brow. This was the best day ever. 

Skidding my feet on the gravel, I slowed my swing to a stop, pausing to scan the premises for Vinnie. Mother was still nose deep in her manuscript, oblivious to the world around her. Hopping off the swing, I walked towards Vinnie’s favorite spot in the park- the sandbox. It wouldn’t be the first time Vinnie had wondered off. I often found him legs buried deep in the sandy maze, happily shoveling sand, unaware of the panic his absence caused. I reached the sandbox scanning the burbling children for Vinnie. His pale and shovel lay vacantly in the sand. I sucked in my breath, fear rising in my chest. Quickly leaping out of the sandbox, I spun around in a circle, desperately searching. 

Finally, after several minutes, my eyes rested on Vinnie's puffy blue jacket. He was standing nearby, looking up at someone, smiling and chattering merrily oblivious to the unsettling gleam in the stranger’s eye. I swiftly walked over to my little brother, grabbed his hand and firmly pulled him away from her. 

“Come on Vinnie, Mother will be worried. You know you’re not supposed to talk to strangers” I scolded, casting an accusatory glance at her. 

“Vinnie…” she crooned, her eyes remaining intently on his small face. And who might you be…girl?” she questioned, looking expectantly at Vinnie for the answer. 

I watched quietly. A feeling of uneasiness creeping up steadily inside of me. A stranger who is both curious about me and uninterested in me, I thought. This was not someone we could trust. 

“That’s Tess, she’s my favorite person”, Vinnie smiled up at me, swinging my hand between his tiny palms. 

“Well, Tess…would you like some ice cream?” she said, looking up hastily. An ominous look now occupying the place where the glimmer had been. 

What was that look...disdain? Decisiveness? Something had changed. Something felt...pending. Something was coming. 

I grimaced, as my stomach growled on que, giving away my answer. Her eyes flittering quickly from my stomach to my face. We locked eyes.

Aw...is the little piggy hungry? she chortled, reaching out to tug one of my messy pigtails. I cringed at her touch, disappointed and embarrassed by my stomachs betrayal.

Had I invited that unwelcomed touch? She doesn't miss a thing. What was that look...confirmation? Satisfaction?...Opportunity?

“Where is the ice-cream?” I asked skeptically. Searching the premises for some hidden ice cream cart that I had missed. 

“I have a cooler in my car”, she smiled sweetly. “Come girl, I’ll show you.”

Hairs raising on the back of my neck. "Come girl...I'll show you." An invitation? A threat? 

Reluctantly, I stooped down to pick up Vinnie. Walking slowly behind her. She stopped at a large black car, fidgeting in her purse for the keys. The trunk opened to reveal an oversized cooler, sitting ominously in the back, curious scratch marks lining the outside. Looking closer, I noticed a lock sitting neatly, tucked away beside it.

Why is there a lock there? Suspicious. 

“Are you ready?”, she asked. 

Foreboding...

I nodded skeptically, my heart beating in my chest. Maybe I was overthinking this? After all, she wasn't lying about having ice cream. Lots of people use locks on their coolers...Didn't they? I nodded my head decidedly, trying to clear my thoughts in the process.

You're being silly Tess I decided, offering her a cautious smile.

Smiling, she pulled out the cooler, placing it firmly on the ground before standing up, casting an expectant look in our direction. 

“Open it”, she grinned.  

An invitation...again.

Vinnie raced forward, eagerly anticipating the sweet treat. His hands reaching for the lid before hoisting it above his head. 

“No ice cream.” I heard him say. 

No ice cream.

“Look closer”, she encouraged.

Something's not right. Danger?

I watched as Vinnie’s head disappeared further into the cooler, his small body teetering between here and there, searching for the illusive treat.

And then it happened. 

She leapt forward, grabbing him by the ankles, hurriedly stuffing the rest of him into the cooler, quickly hoisting it back into the trunk. 

DANGER!

“MOM”, I shouted, running back towards the swings, pumping my legs as fast as I could. Suddenly my body crumpled to the gravel, collapsing under her weight as she tackled me to the ground. Her sharp nails digging into my flesh pulling me towards the car. 

“Please! Please! ” I cried raggedly. Tears streaming down my face as my hands clawed the gravel for some unseen anchor. 

***

Gazing out from the locked trunk, I watched as we pulled away from the park filled with gleeful children on the playground where we had played just minutes before. By the swings on a lone bench in the park, Mother sat, nose buried deep in her manuscript, scribbling furiously at the pages with her favorite ink pen. Oblivious to the world around her. 

***

I woke up on the floor of her office. Vinnie hovered over me, sadly pressing a cool cloth against my forehead. 

“Welcome back”, he said dryly, squeezing out the cloth in a bucket of water before walking over to gaze out the large window in the study. I carefully propped me head up, studying the frame of his back, stubbornly arched against the light streaming in. I knew what he was thinking. I propped myself up on one black and blue arm. Grimacing at the pain.

“Vinnie, we can’t.” I said

“And why not Tess!?”, he erupted. Storming over to where I lay crumpled on the ground. 

“Because it’s wrong…and you know it.”

“This is wrong! Can’t you see it? Can’t you feel it?”, he said pointing towards my bruised body. “It’s the only choice we have!”

Curling into a ball, I sobbed loudly. My body shaking violently, struggling to accept the reality of what we had to do. Vinnie cried too, reaching down to pull me into his arms. After we cried, we devised a plan, whispering quietly so that she wouldn’t hear. 

Today would be...the day. 

***

That night Carlotta called me into the kitchen, instructing me to make dinner.

“Pig! You are not to eat a morsel. Remember that!" she barked, seating herself at the table in front of me. After a long threatening glare, she picked up the newspaper, burying her nose in her favorite newspaper section, chuckling to herself as she read. The title titlepage glared,"Missing Child- The Search Goes On". "Oh, they'll never find this one." she jeered, picking up her glasses to further examine the page. 

Vinnie entered the kitchen, perching quietly in the corner of the room, studying Carlotta. Seemingly, detailing his pending course of action. After a few moments he locked eyes with me. My eyes traveled from his face, down to his hand where an object rested, tightly grasped in his fist. My heart pounded. I quickly turned around, fighting the urge to gag, my hands returning to the knife I was using to chop carrots for dinner. My ears bristled with expectation. Nervously, I awaited his cue.

“Carlotta, do you know where the nails are? I have a picture that I’d like to hang in my room.”  Vinnie asked, smiling sweetly at her.

She peered up from her glasses, warmly glancing at Vinnie before returning to her paper. “Yes, my dear boy. In the drawer behind me." Vinnie quickly moved towards the drawer, the hammer tightly pressed against his thigh, careful to hide the weapon in case Carlotta should glance up again. Carefully he opened the drawer, the wood screeching in protest- shattering the silence. He rustled the contents around a bit, adding to the ruse, stalling for time...or courage. His hand brushing up against a soft blue jacket neatly tucked away into the furthest corner. His eyes welled up with tears, memories flooding back to him. Had this been here the whole time? 

"Vinnie..." 

Vinnie stopped, his eyes wide, beads of sweet forming on his upper lip. Hurriedly he wiped his tears away. Had she heard the rustle of the fabric? Had she seen the hammer?! Think fast! "Yes...Mother?" Carlotta's back straightened; her head flitting to the side. He knew she loved when he called her that. For a moment she seemed suspended in time, indulgently feasting on that word. That coveted word hanging in the air. Regaining her composure she finished, "Be careful, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself now would we Vinnie...Bob. She spun around quickly, her mouth curled up into an evil grin. She knew him all too well. 

Vinnie sucked in his breath, anger welling up inside of him. "YOU BITCH!" he cried, lunging forward, raising the hammer above his head, a loud crack echoing through the kitchen. Carlotta fell back, groaning, grasping her head in the palms of her hands.  

“Now Tess!” That was my cue. I moved slowly, turning around, the knife grasped between my shaky hands. Carlotta peering up at me, from the concrete floor. "Please"...she pleaded. Don't do this...I'll do anything you want"

I towered over her. Allowing my shadow to envelop her crumpled body on the floor. Years of rage unlocking inside of me unhinged. "Awww" I sneered...Is the little piggy hungry?" Quickly, I raised the knife above my head. 

***

Shaking, we stared at Carlotta’s lifeless body, one desperately holding on to the other, heaving in each others arms, shock capturing our words. Vinnie solemnly turned his head, his blue eyes peering into mine. Searching?

"Tess, now you can be free. You are free..."

I stared back at him, heart pounding, unsure of what to say, my eyes traveling back to Carlotta's vacant body...to Mother's vacant body? Then back to Vinnie again. 

"Mother?" I whispered

"Tess what are you saying?

"Mother..she's lying on the floor. Vinnie what happened to Mother?"

Tess what are you SAYING?!

"MOTHER! MOTHER! MOTHER! I screamed

"...Mother...Mother...Mother..."  I crumpled on to the floor my screams fading into tears.

"Tess..." Vinnie cried, sliding down the kitchen wall, understanding washing over him, a look of betrayal on his face. 

"Don't do this Tess. I need you."

"Mother can you hear me? Mother? Please don't go. I promise I'll be good you'll see"

Vinnie sat silently on the ground, vacantly staring into the silence surrounding him, one lone word resting on his lips.

"Trapped."